Ultimate Realizations

Took me 5 years & a pit stop back to you to circum to the feeling of being unattached from you

It took aches and pains moving through the various parts of my body to believe

That our love was never a final destination but a stop on life’s train through hills and valley peaks

It took the loss of what I thought was for me to see who I am today

For me to accept and believe in my solitude

It took me running into other things to acknowledge that I was avoiding the bleed out of you and I

It’s taken me years to find that I’d been suppressing my nature

& I think that may have killed me if I stayed

You understand that part right?

I couldn’t see it then but that sort of suppression was filling my body with rage, my soul with decay

& there lye no good endings for feelings that massive

Had to relinquish control of the situation but at the same time had to stop being passive

Had to experience myself in the mirror before I could ever give myself in the same capacity

Still haven’t been able to give in the way that I gave to you

But I don’t blame you no more

Think that’s just the way the process goes

All those damn cuts and bruises sharpening my realization

A love is sacred you see

Not a playing thing

Not a staged thing, with standing ovations and commentary filled with anticipated validation

Between you dancing with your demons and me avoiding my shadows, we had no fighting chance

The love exchange presumes its way forward

Ain’t no looking back, nor over your shoulder

When I think about what’s back there I feel so distant

I now sob and crack a smile as I arrive to my truth, I am now free from the attachment of you and I