Why is everyone complaining?

We’ve all been there and done that: complaining, that is.

We’ve indulged in ranting more frequently than we’d like to admit.

There are simply too many things that irritate you, get on your nerves, and bring out the worst in you that you just can’t keep yourself from complaining.

Or, can you?

Let’s, for a moment, turn things around and see things in perspective.

Is it really about them?

Or, is it about you?

In life, you always have a choice in how you react and deal with the situations and circumstances that you find yourself in.

No matter how things turn out in your life, ultimately, it all comes down to you — you get to exercise your will; it all boils down to your choices.

Many times, you give away the power of control when you choose to feel helpless, take no action and just complain.

Here are 9 ways you can make yourself complain less.

1. Figure out how to fix things under your control

Life may be unpredictable and many things may be beyond your control, but there are lots of things you can alter, control and make work for you.

When things go wrong, don’t jump into complaining mode. Instead, review the situation, run the options in your mind and come up with the best possible and practice solution to fix the problem.

2. Accept what you cannot change

When you are not in a position to change what is going on around you, wisdom lies

in accepting your reality and making peace with the things that are not under your power to control.

It takes a thoughtful mind and a bit of patience to comprehend that under the circumstances, the best choice is to leave what you can’t change to its devices and get on with your life. There’s no use getting stuck and getting frustrated.

3. Get in the habit of keeping alternative plans

Most people like to plan things out and anticipate that the world would move according to their will.

However, there are times, when unexpected things happen, you are taken by surprise, things don’t pan out exactly how you thought they would, you hit a few bumps and experience a rough patch. In short, your plans fall apart.

In such a scenario, complaining is a knee-jerk phenomenon that is bound to come.

To prevent going down the spiral of negativity, whining, and complaining, always keep an alternative plan just in case the original plan doesn’t come through. Plan B never hurt anyone.

4. Release the pressure

There’s an awful lot of stuff you deal with at work and in your personal life every day.

Your mind gets bombarded with a barrage of negative thoughts and feelings that make you feel like crap and your life sucks.

When you are stressed out and filled with negativity and resentment, it’s okay to take it out and give vent your pent-up feelings. It’s unhealthy to put a lid on volatile emotions since they will eventually explode in a much worse manner.

Voicing your anger, resentment and disapproval can have a calming effect on you and help relieve stress but use this as a once in a while thing, don’t make a habit out of it.

5. Change your mindset

It’s human nature to catch and be drawn into negativity more than positivity. Some people — chronic complainers — have a lower threshold than others to get provoked and begin ranting at the drop of the hat.

A shift in mindset from negative to positive can go a long way in reducing your habit of complaining. Train yourself to look at the world through a positive lens, think positive and develop an optimistic outcome.

Instead of being overly critical and judgmental, be patient with people and view them with empathy and compassion.

6. Choose better options

Each time you have an urge to complain, question yourself whether complaining would solve your problems or fix issues.

If it is not leading you in a positive direction, it’s pointless to waste time ranting about it.

Instead, shift your focus on how you can tackle the situation skillfully and minimize the annoyance.

If there’s nothing under your control to prevent things from happening, distanced yourself and distract your mind by engaging in something productive. This can buy you time until the feeling goes off and you regain your balance and calm.

7. Let go of the company of complainers

It’s oft-repeated advice to not be in the company of negative people if you don’t want to be one of them.

So, if you want to stop complaining, stop hanging around with people who are whining all the time.

Instead, surround yourself with people who have a positive attitude, see the donut rather than the hole and appreciate the silver lining instead of focusing on the clouds.

8. Live in gratitude

Life may not be perfect for you but there’s a lot that’s going right.

Look for the positives in your life and around you and be grateful to be enjoying what others lack.

There’s a lot to be grateful about for the negatives in your life as well. You are what you are and have reached this far by facing numerous challenges and difficulties.

Living in gratitude and thankfulness is the shortest route to live a life of fulfillment, enjoy happiness, and feel good about yourself.

9. Keep yourself motivated and pepped up

With negativity and triggers of annoyance all around, it’s challenging not to get affected or provoked by them.

However, with a little effort and practice, it is possible to keep yourself in a cheerful mood and positive frame of mind all the time.

Consciously think empowering thoughts, cultivate a positive mindset, visualize a favorable outcome of your actions and expect that most things will turn out well.

When life doesn’t turn out as you planned, don’t get disappointed and start complaining. Look for the positives and the learning.

In Conclusion

Complaining is an instinctive response to the triggers which causes it. They can be within or outside of you.

On any given day, you cannot predict with certainty what event, occurrence or which person will cause trouble, rub your the wrong way or provoke you.

It may so happen that you are unhappy with some action or behavior of yours that gets you off mood and makes you grumble.

However, no matter how much or how intensely you complain, most of your efforts will go futile.

Complaining doesn’t serve any purpose and it has little effect on the things or people responsible for annoying you.

All it does is escalate your problems by taking the bad to worse and making you feel helpless and unhappy.

It’s important to remind yourself periodically that we don’t live in a perfect world. Things will keep going wrong, people will keep annoying you and you’ll continue to be dissatisfied with a variety of things.

The best and the most effective way to deal with this is to treat the triggers or train yourself to ignore them and work your way around them.

There’s no pressing reason for you to lose yourself and start complaining. Remember, you always have a choice and there’s always a way forward.

Originally published on drroopleen.com

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Dr. Roopleen is the author of ‘And So Can You’ and From Average to Awesome