The blowjob has been in vogue since the Kama Sutra featured it in the 2nd century. They offer a host of benefits. People report performing oral sex to increase relationship satisfaction and intimacy. And don’t get me started on the advantages of orgasm.

Blowjobs are the handshake of the sex world. You might be giving mediocre BJs without knowing it. Or you may be new to blowjobs and prefer to skip all the awkward practice blowies. Whatever the reason, you decided blowjobs are the leçon du jour. Who can blame you for wanting to leave your man panting for more?

Look no further. Here’s your ultimate guide to giving him the best blow job of his life.

Get comfortable

Before you blow anything, make sure you’re both comfortable. It takes the average guy about four minutes to orgasm. But if you’re doing it right, you’ll be gratifying your partner a bit longer than that. Choose a position where you’re not fidgeting every five seconds. If you plan on using your hands, you can rest them on his thighs. Opt for a bed if you have delicate knees.

What does he want? If he’s into dominance, consider a position that allows him to look down on you (like on your knees). Is he submissive? Position yourself towering over him while he’s lying on the bed tied up. If he’s a switch (or indifferent), pick anything sexy and comfortable.

Consider the angle or curve of his penis. If that thing is cock-eyed or hangs to the left, then lean your body in that direction. It will make your deep throating experience much easier.

Work up to the blowjob

Don’t go into the blow job at sprint speed, aiming to get it over as quickly as possible. You’ll kill the mood, and possibly snap his dick in half. A blowjob should be seductive and exciting.

Foreplay is essential, even for a blow job. Undress him slowly. Kiss his chest, then work down his body. If you have long hair, let it flow over his naked form while you make your way toward the jewels. Lick his inner thighs and sensitives areas before heading to the sweet spot.

Get a taste of his penis. Give the brothers down below a courtesy squeeze. Hug the shaft with your mouth and shove that bad boy in as deep as you can; gauge your limits. Get the saliva flowing and start working your magic.

Wrap your lips around that penis like it’s a Firecracker popsicle. One long stroke, from base to tip. Then find a rhythm. You can use your hand to help work your way into a comfortable cadence.

Then, and only then, should you start testing the waters to see what your partner likes. Tease him. Finger in the butt, yay or nay? A light stroke of teeth, sexy or no way? Don’t pull all your tricks from the hat at once. Make him work for it, with moans of pleasure.

Show enthusiasm

There’s nothing sexier than getting a blowjob from someone who’s totally into it. Most men cite a lack of enthusiasm as their number one disappointment. BJs aren’t one of those “fake it ’til you make it” situations. If you aren’t comfortable giving a blowjob, find another activity that both of you enjoy.

But if you are into it, let it show. Take control; be the one to suggest a blow job. Men love being surprised by a lick of the lollipop. You can sext him with suggestive texts, images, or videos. Or wait until he comes over then tear his pants off.

The hummer is a great way to show your zeal. Moaning lets your partner know you’re into it, and it feels great for him. If you’re getting wet from sucking him off, show him. Grab a fingertip of love juice and use it as lube. I guarantee that will bowl him over.

Keep the enthusiasm rolling by making direct eye contact. It shows him that you’re in the moment with him. You can give him a flirtatious smile or rub his penis on your nipple. While he’s out of your mouth, let him know how hot he makes you, or how much you love his johnson.

Tease him

Teasing your partner into a mind-blowing orgasm is a fine art. One you can master by learning the practicing of edging. The idea is to bring your partner to the cusp of orgasm, then switch things up (so they don’t blow their load yet). Bring them to the edge again, switch it up, rinse and repeat. The more you bring them to the peak of orgasm, the more intense that orgasm will be when they have it. The act of teasing itself can be a powerful aphrodisiac for many men.

Edging requires keen communication between you and your partner. You’ll need to pay close attention to his sounds, body movements, and other indicators to know when he’s about to come. The closer you can bring him to that sweet spot, the better the outcome will be. Wait until a few seconds before the “point of no return.” Then switch gears. Play with his balls, grab a toy, use your hands, change your rhythm, pull your mouth from his penis and tell him how sexy he is. It doesn’t matter. The point is to push him to the limit then switch it up. Keep doing this until you’re ready to give in.

Focus on erogenous zones

Unforgettable blowjobs aren’t only about the penis. There are several erogenous zones you can play with. If you can master the art of blowing him while stimulating these zones, you’ll knock his socks right off his feet.

These five top spots will get him going faster than a cheetah on speed.

1. The gluteal fold is the spot where the thigh meets the butt. It’s an erogenous zone often overlooked. Kissing, licking, pressing, or tickling this spot can drive him wild by surprise.
2. The scrotum is the sac that holds the balls. It has several nerve endings that make it sensitive to touch. Sucking, licking, tugging, and massaging can bring pleasure to the scrotal sack. The scrotal raphe, the line running down the middle, can be especially pleasurable.
3. The perineum is the spot between the anus and scrotal sack. It’s full of perineal nerves, which send pleasure sensations from the perineum to the genitals. Gentle pressing, rubbing (with lube), and tickling are great ways to engage the perineum.
4. The anus is a surprising erogenous zone (for many men). The sphincter and penis are connected to the same pleasure nerve (the pudendal nerve). Gently rubbing or tickling the outside of the anus can bring pleasurable sensations. If he’s up for it, penetrating to the prostate can bring a mind-blowing orgasm he’s never experienced.
5. The sacrum is the triangular small of the back. It’s another overlooked erogenous zone. The sacral nerves are connected to the genitals and carry pleasure sensations from the sacrum to the penis. You may have to press a little harder than you would other body parts to stimulate these nerves.

Communicate

Giving an amazing blowjob requires a feedback loop between you and your partner. You should both be comfortable using verbal indicators if something isn’t going well. Or, if something is going really well. Ideally, he can say “more of that” when he loves what you’re doing, but we live in a world where some people don’t work that way.

If he doesn’t use words or sounds, pay attention to nonverbal cues. Body signals, changes in breathing, hand gestures, and the like. If you want to try teeth grazing, you better pay attention to whether your man starts tensing up or holding his breath.

Eye contact goes a long way, too. Look at him right as you slip his penis into your gaping maw. It’s an image he’ll keep locked in the safe deposit box of his spank bank.

If things aren’t going well, don’t be afraid to check-in or ask what he likes. Homeboy has been playing with his piece for most of his life. He has a pretty good idea of where you can start. This is especially useful if you’re new to his penis. You’ll learn what you want to know, build trust, show your enthusiasm, and help him feel powerful.

Get handsy

Giving a great blowjob isn’t just about shoving a beef bullet in your mouth and going at it (shocking, I know). You have another tool at your side to make the experience a pleasurable one- your hand.

Starting out with a light handjob is a great way to warm things up. There’s nothing more awkward than trying to stick a floppy penis in your mouth. Rub some flavored lube on your hands for an added pop of zest.

Once you get going, you can still use those palms to keep things interesting. If you don’t want to deep throat the beast, use your hands to cover the base of the penis. Your tongue shows love to the most important part (the frenulum) while your hand strokes the shaft. You can mix it up by using a mouth+hand combination to rhythmically stroke in and out. Then, back to the head and shaft separate roles.

You can use your hands to play with other sensitive spots. Tug at the balls, tickle the inner thigh or flick his nipples. Press or rub his perineum, or insert a finger up his anus (if he has approved it beforehand).

If you don’t want to play with his body parts, you can play with your own. Flick your bean or play with your breasts. He’ll love it. You can also grab his hand with your own and lead him to your pleasure points.

Your hands will come in, well, handy, if you need a quick break. The truth is, blowjobs are tough on the jaw. If you need a second to adjust, your hand lets you do that without breaking the rhythm.

And if you’re not a fan of semen, you always have the option of finishing him off with a sensual handjob.

Mix things up

There’s one surefire way to give your partner the worst blowjob of his life. Use one boring method. In and out, in and out, in and out. Waiting for him to cum so you can go home and study for your exam. It’s the blow job equivalent of the jackhammer method. Please, do us all a favor and put some spice into your knob job.

Even if you keep it simple, you have several tools at your disposal. Your lips, tongue, and teeth (if he’s into that). Your breath, thrum, words, breasts, hands, fingers, and sometimes feet. And if you’re incorporating lube or toys, you have even more options.

With all those built-in instruments, you can mix techniques until your partner’s brain explodes. Don’t focus only on the penis. Play with his other erogenous zones to keep him on his toes. If you’re a skilled multi-tasker, you can mix two techniques at once. Start easy; tug the balls while licking the head of his dick. Then kick it up a notch, or two, or three.

There are also practical reasons to mix it up. You’ll need to take breaks. Breathing through your nose can get uncomfortable after a while. And, unless you can unhinge your jaw on contact, you’ll want to mitigate the discomfort. Taking the penis out of your mouth isn’t a big deal as long as you have a plan of action.

Try different things to find out what he likes. Here are some ideas:

• Lick the underside of his frenulum, the spot where the head and shaft of the penis meet. It’s a magical spot of sensitive wonderment. You can lick side-to-side, up-and-down, or swirl your tongue along the edge.
• Moan, or “hum” while he’s in your mouth. Alternate your rhythm between fast and slow. The vibrations will send him over the edge, and he’ll know you’re enjoying yourself.
• With a flat tongue, lick the bottom of his shaft, from base to tip. Repeat this a few times, looking him in the eyes while you do it. You can spice it up by ending with a quick suck or tongue flicker at the tip.
• Place your mouth at the base of his penis and slowly pull him out, releasing plenty of salivae. Repeat this action, finding a good rhythm. Use your hand to cover any area of the penis your mouth doesn’t cover. You can turn your wrist and mouth back and forth for some variety.
• Suck the head of his penis and flick your tongue along the frenulum. Tug his balls or rub your hand along his perineum. If he’s into anal play, you can slip your finger into his anus.
• Put his penis in your mouth as far as you can (deep throat it). Make swallowing motions while you move the back of your tongue up and down the underside of his penis.
• Place your hand on the base of the penis and squeeze. Rub your wet lips along the underside of his frenulum, then suck the head of the penis. Alternate this action a few times. Kiss the frenulum while you look up at him and give him your sexiest bedroom eyes.
• Pull his penis out of your mouth and rub it between your breasts. Then put it back in your mouth. Alternate a few times.
• Pull his penis out of your mouth and stroke him with your hand instead (handjob). Gently suck his balls, one at a time. Alternate that with long licks of the entire sack, and tugs with your mouth (no teeth).

Utilize toys

Sex toys aren’t just for solo play. They’re great for foreplay and sexual positions that will blow your partner away. Many sex toys can enhance a blowjob. But these top three are the crown jewels of the BJ experience.

• Lube. Lube is an essential ingredient for blow jobs. If nothing else, your blowjob needs to be wet. You can’t always work up a lake of saliva and nobody wants to blow a bone-dry beef stick. That’s where lube comes in. Rub some water or silicone-based lube on that bad boy and go to town. You’ll be slobbering on his knob in no time. Don’t like the taste of semen? Grab some flavored lube. It’s effective at masking the bitterness of his iron-rich diet. Besides, it can be fun to suck on a coconut-rum shaft once in a while.
• Vibrator. You can use a vibrator on your partner, or on yourself. Either way, he’ll eat it up. Bullets are great options; they’re small, simple, versatile, and economical. Grab that baby vibe and rub it over your clit while you’re blowing your man. Men love vibrations too. There are a few spots particularly sensitive to the stimulation of a vibrator. The inner thigh and nipples can be a great place to start. Crank it up by rubbing the vibrator up and down the shaft as you work the penis in and out of your mouth. You can do by pressing it against his perineum. Move it down a few inches to his anal opening. Top it off by rubbing it along the frenulum.
• Dildo. Prostate orgasms are another world. Combining a prostate orgasm with a blowjob will put your partner on another level. If you’re a decent multi-tasker, you can pull it off. You’ll need a dildo to complete your reach-around action. You’ll want one made of silicone or gel (something flexible that curves). The idea is to find a toy that reaches his prostate, so consider the length, shape, and angle you’ll be holding it. Decide together whether you want one that vibrates.

Finish with a bang

After all that teasing, you want his climax to be unforgettable.

Before he orgasms, kick it up a notch or two. Combine two techniques, speed up your rhythm, or do something that you know drives him wild. Right before climax, give his balls a gentle tug. When he does orgasm, keep going but slow your rhythm and loosen your grip. His nerves will become sensitive and won’t be able to handle much after about 90–120 seconds.

Keep going a second or two longer than you think is comfortable, then stop.

If you want to swallow the cum, great. Keep sucking and licking while the cum shoots toward the back of your throat. Even after he’s done, lick the head of his penis very lightly a few more times, while you look up at him and smile.

Don’t feel pressured to swallow. Most men are happy to cum wherever they can. If you don’t want to swallow, you have a few options.

You can pull his penis from your mouth and let the cum flow over your hand. Look up at him, smiling like a sexy vixen.

You can let him cum on your chest, stomach, butt, or another beautiful asset, as you give him your most seductive face.

Or, you can let him cum in your mouth. If you choose this route, you can let it slowly pass through your parted lips, or discreetly spit it out.

5 things to avoid

Giving awesome blowjobs isn’t all fun and games. Just kidding, it is. But there are some immediate turn-offs for most men. Here are five things you’ll want to avoid to become a blow job aficionado.

1. Teeth

Some men are into light teeth grazing. But it’s something that should be discussed beforehand. If you’re new to blowjobs, take comfort in knowing most people find a natural position where teeth are out of the way. If it becomes a problem, there are two things you can do:

• Hold the penis toward the bottom half of your mouth and cover your teeth with your tongue.
• Wrap your lips around your teeth as you move the shaft in and out of your mouth.

2. Gagging

Most men don’t like it when a woman gags on his weenis. And if he does, it’s an uncomfortable experience for her. You can avoid it by following a few guidelines:

• Know your limits. Don’t shove a 10-inch rod down your throat if you think it might not fit.
• Ease your gag reflex by positioning yourself so your mouth and throat are aligned. You can try this position: lie on your back with your head hanging halfway off the bed, and have him stand behind you.
• Make sure you breathe through your nose. It helps you to relax and keeps your airway open.

3. Disgust

Yes I know, most semen is gross. And yes I know, sometimes a man’s penis is less than perfect. But the last thing you want to do is scrunch your face up like you shoved an entire lemon down your gullet. That’s a fast track to limp-land. Blowjobs should be sexy and fun. So even if you might be a little disgusted, hold off and talk about it using your words.

4. Surprise anal

Prostate orgasms can open up a world magic for him. You want to give him a blowjob he’ll never forget? Integrate the prostate into your repertoire. But we live in a culture where men are still learning to accept this truth. Putting anything up your partner’s anus is something that should be agreed upon. Some surprises are best left tightly sealed until further notice.

5. Acting solo

Even though you’re doing most of the work, a blowjob is still a partnered activity. Invite your man to join you as much as possible. Talk to him, look at him, smile at him. Let him touch you, play with you, and interact with you. Join in the fun together.

Once considered “taboo,” blow jobs are now a standard part of people’s sex lives. Sixty-to-ninety percent of adult women have given a blowjob at some point in their life. Attitudes are changing in favor of the beej. Despite some misguided belief, women recognize blowjobs for the intimate act they are. And feel powerful when performing them.

Never again will you stare down the one-eyed snake in terror. Take charge of that king cobra and slay with confidence. Follow these tips and give him an experience he’ll never forget. You’ll know you’ve mastered the blowjob when you send your partner into rapture while enjoying yourself.