We’re living in ultra-competitive times where perfectionism is encouraged and celebrated.

It is customary to regard perfectionism as positive and consider it a personal strength, but there’s more to it than meets the eye.

There’s nothing wrong with being ambitious, striving to do great work, and excelling in your field.

After all, being perfect has positive connotations and is supposed to be a source of positive motivation.

However, there’s a flip side to it, which is either overlooked, ignored, dismissed, or downplayed.

Many people — under the garb of doing excellent work — struggle with perfectionism.

What is perfectionism, and who is a perfectionist

In plain words, perfectionism is a personality trait that pushes you to set and chase excessively high standards and strive to reach unrealistic goals.

Perfectionists insist on getting the smallest detail of every job right. Therefore, they go overboard with their pursuit of excellence and set impossibly high standards for themselves.

Less than satisfactory work — according to their perfect standards — is highly annoying and distressing to a perfectionist.

For them, there’s no room for mistakes, and anything that is not done with perfection is worthless.

What’s worse is perfectionists hold high standards in all areas of life. Hence, perfectionism, which starts as a simple desire to do well, becomes detrimental to a quality of life.

Such kind of an attitude has serious implications and can cast a negative impact on your health and well-being.

Common traits of a perfectionist

On the superficial level, perfectionists come across as highly dedicated and work-centric. They take pride in being meticulous and detail-oriented. The negative aspects are thus easily brushed off as tiredness due to little extra work.

However, this should not fool you into believing you’re like other people, for perfectionists are a lot different from the rest.

Here are the telltale signs that will raise the alarm bells and draw your attention to an essential dimension of your personality.

1. Perfectionists are never satisfied with being good enough.

2. They set very high standards for themselves.

3. They are too meticulous in everything they do.

4. They strive to be their very best.

5. They are highly committed to work and extremely hardworking.

6. They expect a superlative quality of work.

7. They are constantly checking and rechecking work.

8. They attach their sense of self to achievement.

9. They are self-critical and overly judgmental.

10. They tend to overburden themselves as they cannot delegate work.

11. They lack self-compassion.

12. They have problems working with a team.

If any or all of these describe you and if you have a penchant for doing perfect work, know that you’re far from alone.

Perfectionism is rampant, especially in the young, ambitious, and restless. And it’s on the rise.

It’s time you took measures to curb your perfectionist tendencies, take care of your mental well-being, and give yourself a more balanced and stress-free life.

Downsides of perfectionism

In their over-enthusiasm to measure up, perfectionists push themselves to an extreme level that proves counterproductive. They fall short of their high bar and fail to realize unrealistic standards and goals.

Perfectionism can lead to the following:

• Hindered work performance
• Decreased productivity
• Loss of creativity
• Procrastination
• Aversion to mistakes
• Inability to delegate work
• Micromanaging
• Missed deadlines
• Friction with team members
• Stress and anxiety
• Burnout
• Frustration
• Low self-esteem
• Depression
• Poor quality of life

Perfectionism hurts in more ways than it is commonly acknowledged. The drive to perfection undermines your potential, limits you from achieving goals, overwhelms you, and therefore wrecks inner calm and peace.

Perfectionists need to get all things right all the time. This compulsive behavior can cause serious problems affecting their mental health and interpersonal relationships.

The root cause of perfectionism

Although it’s difficult to come up with a single, definite cause of perfectionist behavior, at its core, perfectionism is the result of associating your sense of self and self-esteem with the quality of work you do and how well you perform. This intertwining of success and self-worth is what then creates problems.

The various other contributing causes are:

A) Faulty parental upbringing: too much stress on performance and high expectations.

B) Shaming and criticism by teachers or caretakers for not measuring up to the high standards.

C) Excessive praise for excelling so that children associate appreciation with achievements.

D) Considered a way to enter the good books of superiors.

E) Some cultures perpetuate perfectionist behavior.

F) It gives a sense of control to the perfectionist.

G) Perfectionism is sometimes used defensively to prevent feeling shame and fight the fear of failure. Doing a job well means fewer chances of failing and avoiding feeling disappointed.

Examples of perfectionism

Perfectionists are highly critical of their work and come down harshly on themselves when they fail to meet high standards. They firmly believe it’s useless to carry out a task if you are not doing it to perfection.

Some of the common examples of their perfectionist tendencies are:

- Obsession with success and accomplishments.

- Going out of the way to ensure everything is top class.

- Redoing or rewriting things till they come out perfectly well.

- Always finding fault, even with minor things.

- Skipping classes, office, or doing a task if not prepared to perfection.

- Avoid taking up something new for fear of being less than perfect.

- Never completely satisfied with their progress.

- Feeling like a loser every time they don’t achieve absolute excellence.

Perfectionism is a self-defeating habit since setting incredibly high standards can prevent perfectionists from working effectively as they remain stuck with producing perfect work.

How to overcome perfectionism

While theoretically, perfectionism promises to deliver high-quality work, in reality, your productivity suffers.

Establishing perfection as the standard can put too much pressure to perform at your highest level and rob you of your enthusiasm and passion, leaving you overworked and overwhelmed.

Perfectionism can slow you down due to sheer exhaustion since perfectionists don’t trust others to do as well as they do and overload themselves with an increasing amount of work.

Therefore, it is crucial to keep your perfectionism in check and prevent yourself from falling into its trap.

Perfectionism is not inborn; it is a learned behavior. With practice, it can be unlearned. With a little effort, you can minimize it so that it stops being a source of worry in your life.

Here are seven easy ways you can reduce perfectionism.

1. Have an honest conversation

Strange but true, many people are oblivious to the fact that they are too perfectionists.

They erroneously believe they’re just being good at their work and excelling. However, they miss realizing that there’s a thin line between excellence and perfection and that the two are not synonyms of each other.

If you doubt whether you are making your life difficult by being a perfectionist or overworking yourself, hit the pause button, take time out, and have an honest conversation with yourself.

In case that doesn’t help, seek someone’s help — a family member, friend, co-worker, boss, or therapist and get a reality check. This will help you figure out where you stand, and then you can take things forward from there.

2. Focus on being your best

You have unlimited potential and can do great things, but worrying too much about getting stuff done perfectly is what gets in the way.

So change the way you look at goals, achievement, and success.

Remind yourself that the only way to reach your goals and realize your dreams is to set realistic standards and put in your best efforts, instead of chasing perfection and either not getting started or not being able to finish what you begin.

This simple shift of focus will enable you to bring out the best in yourself, unlock your full potential, and take you far in life without getting unduly stressed.

3. Change your belief system

Many people assume things about themselves and others that are far from true.

Stop giving in to limiting beliefs and imagining things in your head as to what others will say or how they will judge you if you don’t reach high standards and measure up to their expectations.

The truth is, only your opinion about yourself is what matters. You don’t have to live your life pleasing others or be guided by their liking or disliking.

4. View failure in a positive light

Though failure is not easy to take — it is excruciating — but seeing the brighter side and regarding it as a learning experience and an opportunity to grow will go a long way in keeping your perfectionist tendencies under control.

5. Let go and take things easy

Nothing will happen if you don’t perform exceptionally well, do your job with utmost perfection or measure up to the most stringent standards.

It won’t make any difference to you, and rest assured, it won’t matter to anyone else either. Most people won’t even notice it; they’ll see the job done and be satisfied.

So focus on doing your work well rather than sweating and overreaching the highest level of perfection.

6. Aspire to be a high-achiever rather than a perfectionist

Being a high-achiever means registering more wins under your name by achieving goals that are within your reach instead of running behind unachievable targets, missing most of them, and ending up feeling frustrated and dejected.

It’s not that you are lowering your standards by giving up the chase of perfection. You’re only making your goals more realistic.

Once you’ve achieved a substantial number of goals at a particular level and are comfortable working hard to achieve excellence, you can slowly raise the bar higher for yourself and set bigger, more challenging goals.

This way, you can keep stretching your boundaries but within limits and enjoy the process rather than stressing about doing things perfectly well. It’s far easier to achieve the success you dream of and live an accomplished life.

7. Cultivate an easy-going personality

There’s no fun living a life filled with stress and worry. Although it is essential to work hard to achieve your goals but not at the cost of your quality of life.

Taking your life and work too seriously will drain away from your enthusiasm and diminish your happiness.

There’s a fine line between high standards and unrealistic expectations, and tipping on the wrong side can cost you dearly in terms of health, happiness, and mental well-being.

Instead of striving for perfection and stretching yourself beyond the breakpoint, go for things that are achievable and within your power to control and change.

In Conclusion

Contrary to what many believe, perfectionists don’t feel more accomplished or successful.

Instead, they feel disappointed for failing to reach their unrealistic and unachievable standards. The constant critical voice and negative narrative in the background keep them restless and anxious.

Perfectionist tendencies keep you from experiencing self-fulfillment and living life to the fullest because of the constant demand you put on yourself to be flawless and perform perfectly.

So if you want to make your life meaningful and enjoy the journey, let go of the unrealistic and stop obsessing over making everything perfect, down to the last detail.

Judge yourself by the effort you put in and not by the outcome. You are worthy of appreciation for what you are, not what you do. Make peace with giving your best and spare yourself the mental agony you’re causing by pushing yourself harder to get everything right.

Letting go of perfectionism is quite liberating and comforting. Focus on giving your best, and trust me, that’ll be just perfect.

Originally published on drroopleen.com

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