A Word That Makes Great Relationships

If there is one magic word that can bring you meaningful and fulfilling relationships, what word would you choose?

This word that extends to relationships in life and work, that drive you towards meaningful, and fulfilling relationships. This word that determines your course of actions, the journey in your relationships, and outcomes. What word would you choose to make magic in your relationships?

My magic word is — commit. This word has served me, provided clarity, and has guided me through all the ups and downs thus far.

“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships. “ — Tony Robbins

1. Commit to your relationship with yourself.

Deciding to commit to yourself, in your personal growth to cultivate the skillsets you need to move toward your vision, and achieve your goals will be the foundation of your relationships. Every relationship can only be sustainable, meaningful, fulfilling if we continuously add value to one another.

The best way we can add more value to our family, friends, and colleagues is by growing, learning so we can deliver more value through sharing our findings & learnings, delivering work with higher standards, and serving them. I like to view it as sharing perspectives, and taking actions that bring betterment in their lives in as many areas as relevant.

The only way to ensure you can bring more value is to commit to yourself in developing knowledge, and skillsets that will help you in living a healthier life mentally and physically, putting you in a better state to learn, live and serve.

2. Commit to showing up and serving

Show up, be the person that commits to showing up for your relationships, and work. Be present and strive to serve for the betterment of your relationships, and the organization you serve. Your family, friends, and colleagues will see & feel it, and you will attract the right people in your life and work.

Loyalty and trust can only be won and created through consistent actions. Your decision to commit to showing up and serving is the beginning of the cycle that will bring you the relationships that will serve you.

3. In work — commit to engaging your comrades and partners

Over-deliver value, period period period. Be their support, share perspectives, provide better service, engage, and solve problems. Think and act for the greater good of the larger whole (extend beyond your self-interest), and engage engage engage. Yes, it is going to take more effort, time to listen, guide, share, and being present — nothing worthwhile is ever easy.

Engage may sound as if it is a low requirement at work. But ask yourself, is it? How many times have you looked at your role in work from a holistic perspective (in terms of the impact towards the organization you serve — how many levels are you considering?) before responding to a particular issue? Have you thought about it from the perspective of the other parties (internal or external) and made time and effort to find the best possible ways forward that serve to resolve the situation in serving the others and yourself while moving towards the goals or targets of the organization? In working with your partners and clients, are you focused on making them your raving fans or just doing enough so you sort of fulfill the contract? What is the main driver behind the actions you take in work — what’s the best for me or what’s the best choice for us?

4. Commit to finding your game

We only have but one life. Though life may throw bricks at us, I strongly believe we should always ask what game do we want to play? Find that game, and commit to your game. There will always be a better paying job, higher bonus, more prestige whatnot, ask yourself is that the game you want to play?

Finding the game you want to play will help you decide the skills you want to cultivate, provide clarity for you to take action. The more clearly you can (high definition level clarity) describe what is the game you want to play, the more you will find your way (it should be as if you are asking Gordon Ramsay to tell you what he wants the kitchen, and front of the house to look and feel like in a new restaurant he aims to create).

If you don’t find the game you want to play, someone will always have a plan for you in their game. So what say you?

Commit — to me encapsulates having the hunger for realizing your vision, the drive to learn and grow, the discipline, and focus to act. While being a work in progress, this word has brought magic into my life — blessed me with supportive friends, comrades in work, a career that has provided experiences that have been guiding me towards the vision I aim to create in many ways.

In hopes of more magic in this world, make time to find your magic word, and make magic with your relationships. Better and stronger relationships can help make this world a much more beautiful place.