A journal entry on success and to see if this thing really works

Written on March 15, 2022

I’m sitting here this morning, drinking my coffee and wondering if I’m going to keep experiencing success or not. This is what I do. This is my past self-image catching up to me — telling me that this is as far as I can go. I’ve reached my limit of what I can believe I can truly do.

It’s such a lie.

Day in and day out for the past 6 months, I have showed up, worked on myself and my self image. My goal is to be my own boss and I am on my way.

If I am focused on the brighter side of things, I have experienced a lot of success in the past month, as written in my journal. I believe it’s only going to get better from here.

But here’s the issue that I keep having — I feel like this need to do more, be more and do things quicker to get somewhere. But I don’t know where that is. And it exhausts me. I doubt myself and my abilities. I try to revert back to my old patterns of staying stagnant.

Only now I have continuously exercised my brain to think differently and believe different things about myself. This whole experience is teaching me that there is an AMAZING life on the other side of this. And that is not to discount the life I am living right now — I have created something truly beautiful — all while living each day on purpose and with intention. I’ve let go of things that are out of my control and given them to God. The life I create today will determine my tomorrow and the next day. It’s a compound effect.

A well-lived life consists of well-lived days.

Living in the moment and being present is learning how to live in between the big moments.

I love these quotes by my favorite writers and mentors.

But as I think back over the past 6 months and so doubtful of how things would turn out, here I sit 6 months later and see all the progress I have made.

Nothing came crashing down.

My life didn’t fall apart.

When I released the things that once pulled me down and made me feel stuck, I was able to fully and freely step into my potential as a person in this wild human experience. I am human.

My old self tells me that I can only keep up success for so long.

But that comes from a fear of failure. The thing about failure is that there actually should be no fear behind it at all. When you fail, you attempted to do something that didn’t work out.

The realest type of “failure” is when you do nothing. When you don’t show up. When you don’t make mistakes that allow you to learn and grow.

I’ve learned that there are 2 types of failure — one leads to nowhere and one leads you to an extraordinary life.

So there’s the root of it, right?

We can keep success in our life rolling, because we know we can fail and we will be okay. We will pick ourselves back up and try again. God will open doors and the journey will reveal itself, step by step.

Sometimes we have to give ourselves a much-needed pep talk to keep doing the tiny actions each day that have led to success.

So I’m telling myself this right now:

-Slow down and take a breath.

-You are not running away from anything or catching up to anything.

-You can be present and loved every moment, even when you feel discomfort.

-You are valued and loved just as you are.

-And your success is something that you can share with others and impact them in beautiful ways.

-Show up, focus on what’s in front of you and the rest will fall into place.